Fic: Midnight
Apr. 27th, 2003 07:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
galaxysoupFANDOM: Stargate SG-1
RATING: PG
CAEGORY: Angst
SUMMARY: It’s Christmas and Daniel is on his own. Much introspection is had by all.
SPOILERS: None that I noticed.
MIDNIGHT
Christmas at the SGC.
The compound is mostly empty, down to a skeleton crew of airmen without families and Marines who don't celebrate Christmas anyway. It sounds like they're having a party in the locker room.
There are a few nurses left in the infirmary, too. Janet is home, as are General Hammond and a few dozen other soldiers, a beeper tone away from the base should an alien with an understanding of Earth customs realize that tonight is a night of emptiness for Cheyenne Mountain. Working at the SGC is a full-time job in an era full of them.
Daniel checks his watch. Fifteen minutes to midnight.
Sam's lab is empty, her door shut. A few Christmas ornaments have been tacked up by the door jamb in an effort to bring some cheer to the plain gray missle silo walls. At fifteen minutes to midnight they're losing the battle. Sam's visiting her brother this Yuletide.
Daniel wanders on to Jack's office. No decorations to speak of festoon the doors, no one is at home, but someone, probably Sam, has taped a small red yarn bow to Jack's nameplate. Daniel's willing to bet she did it after Jack left to visit his mother in Chicago, but maybe not. It's just the sort of thing Jack would leave 'unnoticed' because he didn't really mind its presence.
Daniel keeps walking. Even Teal'c's room is empty tonight; he doesn't celebrate this Tau'ri Christmas custom, but he took the opportunity to visit his family. Daniel wonders if he tells tall tales to his friends about these strange Earthlings and their bizzare customs.
Daniel stops outside another office door, his own. He didn't have any plans for Christmas. After hearing everyone on the base talk excitedly about who they were going to see and where they were going to go he had thought up a false story about some long-forgotten friends of his parents inviting him to visit, but in the bustle nobody thought to ask. Ten minutes to midnight. He's not sure whether he wants to avoid his loneliness or wallow in it.
He tried to stay at his apartment, because the idea of being at work on Christmas was too taboo to contemplate. But when the only thing on TV was 'It's a Wonderful Life' and he could hear his neighbors singing carols in a busy happy group down the hall and all he could think about was one foster home Christmas after another, he gave up and went walking. His heart ached when he couldn't remember Christmas with his parents, only the long succession of spindly or nonexistant trees, no presents, and classroom postseason chatter that excluded him as effectively as a locked door. So he went to work. At work, inevitably, everything reminds him of Sha're or his missing teammates. His office has become a trap, the absence of Christmas decorations underscoring the fact that it is Christmas and he is alone. Again.
He makes himself a mug of coffee, more because his hands feel as empty as his social calendar than because he needs it. He doesn't plan to sleep tonight. Sleep perchance to dream, as the bard once said, and dreaming is not on Daniel's Top Ten Holiday Pastimes List.
He leans back in his chair, studying the ceiling. Very plain, very boring. He gets a sudden wild urge to paint the ceiling a kaleidescope of bright colors, just because the SGC is empty and he could. Five minutes to midnight. The phone rings.
Daniel glares at it. He isn't sure whether to feel relief that someone has thought of him at five minutes to Christmas, or annoyance at having a really good sulk interrupted. He gives up and answers the phone.
"Hello?"
There is a pause.
"Danny?" says Jack's voice, surprised.
Daniel rolls his eyes, which has no effect whatsoever on the Colonel. "No, Jack, this is Teal'c using a voice changer."
"Danny." Jack's voice is hard with something Daniel can't put a finger on. "Do you know what day it is?"
"I believe it is Tuesday, O'Neill," Daniel says in his best Teal'c impression.
"Knock it off, Danny. You know what I mean."
"I'll take Christmas Eve for a hundred, Jack." He's trying to joke it off, be annoying enough that Jack will leave him alone. He wishes he hadn't answered the phone.
Never kid a kidder. Jack sees right through him, of course. "Danny, why are you at work? I thought you were..." Jack's voice trails off as he realizes he never thought to ask.
"I'm not at work. I'm having my calls forwarded." Daniel says quickly. The last thing he wants is for Jack to feel guilty on Christmas. "Why did you call?"
"Oh, I, um, no reason," Jack stammers. A flash of inspiration, perhaps? A guilty subconscious? Daniel wonders what Jack is thinking. Does he believe Daniel's variation of the truth?
"How's your family? Your mom okay?"
"Oh, yeah, they're fine. It's really nice here. You'd...you'd like it." Jack's voice sounds oddly muffled, like he's having trouble swallowing.
"Jack, you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I've just got a little bit of a cold." Never kid a kidder, thinks Daniel.
"Hey, Danny, you want to come to Chicago? I bet I could find you a flight."
"No, that's okay, Jack. I'm having a nice time here. Tell your mom Merry Christmas from me." Daniel hangs up before Jack can ask where 'here' is exactly.
Why not go to Chicago? He thinks, and it doesn't take long for his mind to present its reasons. Chicago, where Jack is surrounded by his family. Chicago, where there is a house with baby pictures and kindergarten artwork stored carefully away until his parents feel Jack needs to be embarassed. No, Chicago woud not be a good place. Why didn't he go with Sam, then? Or Teal'c? Those answers are as obvious as they are similar. Both Sam and Teal'c have fences to mend, memories to replace.
Don't I have memories to replace? He wonders.
Of course. Probably more than most people. But the ache of those memories is almost as good as not having to rely on them at all. The soreness in his heart when he can't recall his mother's face or his father's laugh is almost as good as the writhing embarassment of first grade school pictures and childhood letters to Santa. Daniel never believed in Santa Claus.
The phone rings again, and Daniel relents and answers it. Probably Jack again, stubborn as usual.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Daniel! Merry Christmas!"
"Hi Sam! You're a few minutes early, I think," But his watch says otherwise. Five minutes after midnight. It's been Christmas for five minutes and he never noticed. A nagging thought occurs to him. "Have you spoken to Jack recently?"
Her puzzlement is genuine, but she can guess what he means. "No, but I did talk to Teal'c before he left. He wanted me to tell you Merry Christmas for him."
Daniel's head pounds. "Thanks, Sam."
"Daniel, are you okay? You sound kind of muffled."
"I'm fine. Just a little bit of a cold." Kidders of the world unite. He's not going to cry on Christmas. "How's your brother?"
"Oh, he's fine. It's been kind of fun being here for Christmas, actually."
Daniel says goodbye and hangs up, letting Sam get her sleep. Now, how did Sam know to call his office at five minutes past midnight on Christmas day? His chest feels tight.
He leans back in his chair again, propping his feet up on the desk top. His coffee is cold by the computer.
Jack, my Christmas Eve brother.
Sam, my Christmas Day sister.
Teal'c, my always friend.
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night..."
FINIS
RATING: PG
CAEGORY: Angst
SUMMARY: It’s Christmas and Daniel is on his own. Much introspection is had by all.
SPOILERS: None that I noticed.
MIDNIGHT
Christmas at the SGC.
The compound is mostly empty, down to a skeleton crew of airmen without families and Marines who don't celebrate Christmas anyway. It sounds like they're having a party in the locker room.
There are a few nurses left in the infirmary, too. Janet is home, as are General Hammond and a few dozen other soldiers, a beeper tone away from the base should an alien with an understanding of Earth customs realize that tonight is a night of emptiness for Cheyenne Mountain. Working at the SGC is a full-time job in an era full of them.
Daniel checks his watch. Fifteen minutes to midnight.
Sam's lab is empty, her door shut. A few Christmas ornaments have been tacked up by the door jamb in an effort to bring some cheer to the plain gray missle silo walls. At fifteen minutes to midnight they're losing the battle. Sam's visiting her brother this Yuletide.
Daniel wanders on to Jack's office. No decorations to speak of festoon the doors, no one is at home, but someone, probably Sam, has taped a small red yarn bow to Jack's nameplate. Daniel's willing to bet she did it after Jack left to visit his mother in Chicago, but maybe not. It's just the sort of thing Jack would leave 'unnoticed' because he didn't really mind its presence.
Daniel keeps walking. Even Teal'c's room is empty tonight; he doesn't celebrate this Tau'ri Christmas custom, but he took the opportunity to visit his family. Daniel wonders if he tells tall tales to his friends about these strange Earthlings and their bizzare customs.
Daniel stops outside another office door, his own. He didn't have any plans for Christmas. After hearing everyone on the base talk excitedly about who they were going to see and where they were going to go he had thought up a false story about some long-forgotten friends of his parents inviting him to visit, but in the bustle nobody thought to ask. Ten minutes to midnight. He's not sure whether he wants to avoid his loneliness or wallow in it.
He tried to stay at his apartment, because the idea of being at work on Christmas was too taboo to contemplate. But when the only thing on TV was 'It's a Wonderful Life' and he could hear his neighbors singing carols in a busy happy group down the hall and all he could think about was one foster home Christmas after another, he gave up and went walking. His heart ached when he couldn't remember Christmas with his parents, only the long succession of spindly or nonexistant trees, no presents, and classroom postseason chatter that excluded him as effectively as a locked door. So he went to work. At work, inevitably, everything reminds him of Sha're or his missing teammates. His office has become a trap, the absence of Christmas decorations underscoring the fact that it is Christmas and he is alone. Again.
He makes himself a mug of coffee, more because his hands feel as empty as his social calendar than because he needs it. He doesn't plan to sleep tonight. Sleep perchance to dream, as the bard once said, and dreaming is not on Daniel's Top Ten Holiday Pastimes List.
He leans back in his chair, studying the ceiling. Very plain, very boring. He gets a sudden wild urge to paint the ceiling a kaleidescope of bright colors, just because the SGC is empty and he could. Five minutes to midnight. The phone rings.
Daniel glares at it. He isn't sure whether to feel relief that someone has thought of him at five minutes to Christmas, or annoyance at having a really good sulk interrupted. He gives up and answers the phone.
"Hello?"
There is a pause.
"Danny?" says Jack's voice, surprised.
Daniel rolls his eyes, which has no effect whatsoever on the Colonel. "No, Jack, this is Teal'c using a voice changer."
"Danny." Jack's voice is hard with something Daniel can't put a finger on. "Do you know what day it is?"
"I believe it is Tuesday, O'Neill," Daniel says in his best Teal'c impression.
"Knock it off, Danny. You know what I mean."
"I'll take Christmas Eve for a hundred, Jack." He's trying to joke it off, be annoying enough that Jack will leave him alone. He wishes he hadn't answered the phone.
Never kid a kidder. Jack sees right through him, of course. "Danny, why are you at work? I thought you were..." Jack's voice trails off as he realizes he never thought to ask.
"I'm not at work. I'm having my calls forwarded." Daniel says quickly. The last thing he wants is for Jack to feel guilty on Christmas. "Why did you call?"
"Oh, I, um, no reason," Jack stammers. A flash of inspiration, perhaps? A guilty subconscious? Daniel wonders what Jack is thinking. Does he believe Daniel's variation of the truth?
"How's your family? Your mom okay?"
"Oh, yeah, they're fine. It's really nice here. You'd...you'd like it." Jack's voice sounds oddly muffled, like he's having trouble swallowing.
"Jack, you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I've just got a little bit of a cold." Never kid a kidder, thinks Daniel.
"Hey, Danny, you want to come to Chicago? I bet I could find you a flight."
"No, that's okay, Jack. I'm having a nice time here. Tell your mom Merry Christmas from me." Daniel hangs up before Jack can ask where 'here' is exactly.
Why not go to Chicago? He thinks, and it doesn't take long for his mind to present its reasons. Chicago, where Jack is surrounded by his family. Chicago, where there is a house with baby pictures and kindergarten artwork stored carefully away until his parents feel Jack needs to be embarassed. No, Chicago woud not be a good place. Why didn't he go with Sam, then? Or Teal'c? Those answers are as obvious as they are similar. Both Sam and Teal'c have fences to mend, memories to replace.
Don't I have memories to replace? He wonders.
Of course. Probably more than most people. But the ache of those memories is almost as good as not having to rely on them at all. The soreness in his heart when he can't recall his mother's face or his father's laugh is almost as good as the writhing embarassment of first grade school pictures and childhood letters to Santa. Daniel never believed in Santa Claus.
The phone rings again, and Daniel relents and answers it. Probably Jack again, stubborn as usual.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Daniel! Merry Christmas!"
"Hi Sam! You're a few minutes early, I think," But his watch says otherwise. Five minutes after midnight. It's been Christmas for five minutes and he never noticed. A nagging thought occurs to him. "Have you spoken to Jack recently?"
Her puzzlement is genuine, but she can guess what he means. "No, but I did talk to Teal'c before he left. He wanted me to tell you Merry Christmas for him."
Daniel's head pounds. "Thanks, Sam."
"Daniel, are you okay? You sound kind of muffled."
"I'm fine. Just a little bit of a cold." Kidders of the world unite. He's not going to cry on Christmas. "How's your brother?"
"Oh, he's fine. It's been kind of fun being here for Christmas, actually."
Daniel says goodbye and hangs up, letting Sam get her sleep. Now, how did Sam know to call his office at five minutes past midnight on Christmas day? His chest feels tight.
He leans back in his chair again, propping his feet up on the desk top. His coffee is cold by the computer.
Jack, my Christmas Eve brother.
Sam, my Christmas Day sister.
Teal'c, my always friend.
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night..."
FINIS
