Fic: Nadir (2/2)
Nov. 26th, 2002 08:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
galaxysoupPart One
Jack's papers were impeccably stacked. He'd evened the sides with a ruler. His paperclips were linked, his rubber bands had all been fired at the opposite wall, and he'd lost seventeen games of Solitaire. All his e-mails had been answered. He'd even polished his boots.
He was running out of ways to procrastinate.
A gentle knock at the door interrupted him. Carter poked her head around the door, and when he didn't yell at her, eased her way in.
"Sir? I thought you were going to talk to Kasuf?"
"I am." He said defensively.
Her eyes tracked over his impeccable desk and the detritus of his earlier target practice and came back to rest on his face, annoyed. "Sir!"
"I know, Carter!" He said quickly, forestalling her reprimand. "And I'll do it. I'm just preparing. Mentally."
She quirked an eyebrow sourly at him. "Don't hurt yourself."
He gaped at her. "That was almost a Danielism, Carter."
She had the grace to look abashed, but raised her chin defiantly nonetheless. "Someone had to, sir. Now go talk to Kasuf, or I'll tell Janet to use the big needle next time. With all due respect."
He glared, "Insubordination, Major," but his heart wasn't in it. He spared a nostalgic moment for days of yore when Carter hadn't had the guts to tell him he was being an ass, but he acknowledged in his heart that she was only pushing it this far because Daniel couldn't any more. He sighed grumpily. Having a four-person team really sucked sometimes. It was too obvious when one of the members was missing.
With a petulant look in Carter's direction, he levered himself out of his suddenly sinfully comfortable office chair and ambled out into the hallway. "See you on the flip side, Major," he quipped. This was one Gate ride he wasn't going to put Teal'c and Carter through.
The Gateroom on Abydos was, as always, way too hot for his Minnesota-bred tastes, but it reminded him of Daniel, which was kind of nice. What wasn't nice was the old man standing regally at the foot of the Stargate's dais, looking expectantly into the wormhole behind Jack.
"Daniel isn't coming, Kasuf."
Kasuf paled. "Has my Good Son come to harm?"
Jack looked at the ground, the walls, the ceiling, and finally the anxious face in front of him. "Sort of. It's a long story. You might want to sit down."
He'd meant that maybe they should go to Kasuf's tent, or the city of Nagada nestled in the distant sand dunes, but Kasuf plonked himself down on the lowest stone stair and eyed Jack expectantly. Jack sighed. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Maybe he was coming down with asthma or something.
"First off, Daniel isn't dead." Kasuf's eyes closed in relief. "But he's not really alive, either. See, we were on a mission, and there was a bomb that was going to go off...okay, let me rephrase." He started again, making it simpler this time, trying not to get caught up in the details. That would be bad. The details were...bad. "Daniel sacrificed himself to save a whole lot of people, but instead of dying, and he turned into...I dunno, I guess you'd say he's energy. A spirit, maybe? So he's not dead, but he's not alive." Jack ran his hands through his hair distractedly. "Ah shit, I'm no good at this stuff. I should've sent Carter," he mumbled, and glanced hopelessly at Kasuf. "Do you get what I'm trying to say?"
Kasuf frowned thoughtfully. "I believe so. My Good Son is a spirit? You say he died well."
"Well, not dead, exactly, but yeah," Jack said, trying not to remember the single, toneless, drawn-out beep from the heart monitor as Daniel's body vanished into light. "Real well. He did good. Would've done better if he hadn't died at all, but hey, he did his best."
Kasuf knitted his fingers together and stared fixedly at the ground. "Then he died as he lived. He was a good man."
"Yeah, he was."
They sat for a moment in near silence, Jack resting his hand awkwardly on Kasuf's bony shoulder, at a loss again for anything to say, as the man mumbled what Jack assumed to be a prayer under his breath.
"Will you continue your travels through the Cha'apa'ai? With the rest of your team?" Kasuf asked finally.
Jack perked up, glad to say something he actually had words for. "Oh, yeah. We won't stop that, don't worry. And actually, we even have a fourth team member, Jonas Quinn. One of the guys Daniel saved joined up."
"This Jonas Quinn, he is a good man? Of good family?"
"Well, I don't really know his family, but yeah, I'd say he's a good guy."
"He has proved his honor? He will continue the fight as my Good Son would have?"
"Yeah. He's a lot different from Daniel, but he'll do a good job."
Kasuf nodded in satisfaction. "Then it is good. I will go now and make ready for the ceremony to mark my Good Son's passing into the spirit realms. You will stay?"
Jack thought of Daniel's face, unreadable behind the dark glasses he hadn't removed for Sha're's funeral, and knew without a doubt he couldn't go through that for Daniel. "Nah, I've got to get back. I'm sorry to bring such bad news, Kasuf."
Kasuf studied his hands for a moment. "It is good that he has joined the spirit realms. Now he will see my Sha're. They have been too long apart."
Jack couldn't think of anything to say to that. "Well, good luck. Say hi to Skaara for me."
"I will."
* * * * * * * * *
Daniel ran through his cover story again just in case, took a deep breath, and cursed his luck. He'd been up most of the night trying to decide what to do next. Thankfully, Not-Oma seemed to have bought his claim of another nightmare after the Colona Revelation's ensuing panic attack, and as far as he could tell, she still thought he was completely in the dark. He had ventured a few more strategic grumbles over the disappearance of the Arabic scroll, just so no one would think he had forgotten, and then studiously spent several hours throwing himself against the metaphoric brick wall of Not-Oma's language. He had actually made some headway, enough to give him a general idea of what was being said, and had then retired to his room.
It was time for the next step.
He stood at the window by the dead curtains and carefully surveyed the room. Okay, so when Not-Oma 'appeared' in his room, she usually came from about...there...
He closed his eyes and ran through the same exercise that had revealed Colona. True to his theory, when he looked at the room again, there was a small unobtrusive opening on the section of the wall Not-Oma used to 'melt' through. He ran through the exercise again, just to make sure he wasn't deceiving himself and getting caught in the Expectations trap, and then crept over and peered cautiously through the doorway. There didn't seem to be anyone occupying the room on the other side.
Tentatively he stepped inside, reciting the opening of the Odyssey to cover his pounding heart and prickling nerve endings. The room was empty, and Daniel relaxed somewhat. He ran through the meditation exercise again, just in case, and stood for a moment, just memorizing the layout of the room. It was fairly Spartan, containing little more than a bed and a desk. The desk seemed the most likely place to start, so he headed in that direction, tiptoeing gingerly across the stone floor like a child playing a game of hide-and-seek. There didn't seem to be any papers or personal effects on top of the desk, but there were still two drawers he could look through.
A close inspection of the drawers revealed no hidden traps or alarms and, his heart in his mouth and the Odyssey in his head, he eased the first one open...
And hit the jackpot. Thankfully, Colona wasn't advanced enough to use complicated and, to him, utterly mystifying mechanical devices for storing information, and he was faced instead with a pile of papers, each inscribed with a simplified version of the difficult writing in the library scrolls. Daniel figured what he was reading now was probably a more modern version of his latest linguistic headache, and thanked his lucky stars it had moved into the realms of what he was familiar with instead of becoming even more obscure.
He pulled out the stack and leafed through it, muttering to himself as he translated on the fly. The top sheets seemed to deal with an alliance of some kind, a proposal written to and presumably accepted by a Council of Elders. With a pang, Daniel realized it dealt with his own subtle interrogation.
"Our part of the alliance, with the addition of the information gleaned from the Tau'ri, should be fulfilled in a few days, a week at the most. I propose that we prepare to bargain for more technology and aid pending a discussion with the Tau'ri regarding the customs and bargaining habits of the..." he squinted at the last word, mentally flicking through his index of languages, looking for the root word...yes...he had it..."...the Serpent One," uh-oh, that had an ominous ring to it - "called Goa'uld by the Tau'ri." Oh, crap. Was there anything the Goa'uld wouldn't mess with?
He read further, hoping to find the Goa'uld mentioned by name, but the proposal gave him no more useful information. Hastily tapping the papers back into a stack, he shoved them into the first drawer and went on to the second.
The second drawer contained a few personal items; a photograph of a group of people, a letter from someone who appeared to be a family member. Nothing he could use.
Daniel sat for a few moments lost in thought before carefully replacing the photograph and slipping noiselessly back through the doorway into his own room. Well. That was all very interesting. So Colona had made a deal with the devil.
Now what was he going to do about it?
He settled himself on the bed and thought hard. Problem number one: he was a prisoner. Problem number two: he had inadvertently given a whole lot of important information to the enemy. Problem number three: they were going to use that information against Earth, and probably kill him. Problem number four: somehow managing to take Not-Oma out of the equation wouldn't help, because he had no idea how much information she had already passed on to her superiors. He was reasonably certain the Colonans hadn't given any information to the Goa'uld yet, because the proposal had indicated that they still hoped to get some useful information from him regarding the business practices of the Goa'uld.
So, at the very least, he had to make sure the Goa'uld/Colonan alliance didn't go through. And even if he managed to control the damage brought about by his own involuntary gut-spilling, there was always the chance someone else from the SGC could run into an illusion-master and be taken in the same way.
He let his head thump back against the wall with a sigh of frustration, thinking bitterly that there had been a reason he had chosen academia and not the military.
Not-Oma walked through the door. "Good evening, Daniel. I see you're still awake."
A detached part of Daniel's mind kindly pointed out to him that she wasn't speaking in riddles, wasn't glowing, was wearing a pantsuit and the Colonan equivalent of pearls, and how had he ever been dumb enough to buy into all this in the first place? Daniel told that part of his mind to shut up and go away, and smiled warmly at Not-Oma. "I couldn't sleep. Can't turn my brain off tonight for some reason."
She returned his smile. "Come walk with me in the garden. The night air will clear your thoughts and help you rest."
The glimmer of a plan began to form in Daniel's mind. "That sounds lovely," he told her sincerely.
* * * * * * * * *
A knock on the door interrupted Sam's perusal of her magazine. Hastily stuffing the contraband into a desk drawer, she picked up her pen and tried to look studious. "Come in?"
Colonel O'Neill stuck his head through the door. "Carter, you busy?"
A guilty glance at the stack of papers closest to her told her she could arrange to be free. "No sir. I'm all yours."
"Okay. We're going to Teal'c's quarters."
Puzzled, she followed him. He seemed tense about something, but it wasn't anything specific she could put her finger on. It was somewhere between his usual I've-been-thinking-and-it's-making-me-unhappy tension and damn-now-we've-got-to-save-the-world-again-and-I-was-just-going-to-go-fishing.
I-i-i-nteresting.
A quick rap on Teal'c's door gained them entry. Teal'c was seated in the midst of his candles performing kel-no-reem, and the Colonel settled himself down on the floor without a single complaint about his knees or the hardness of the cement.
Curiouser and curiouser.
"O'Neill. Major Carter." Teal'c acknowledged.
There was a long pause.
"Sir?" Sam prompted when the Colonel seemed reluctant to begin talking.
Now that he had them all together, he seemed to be at a loss as to what to say. "Have you..." he cleared his throat. "Did you notice anything...odd the past few days?"
Sam blinked. "Odd like how, sir?"
"Like...unusual. I don't know, all of a sudden something feels off to me. I can't quite put my finger on it. It's like we forgot to do something."
Sam frowned in concentration. The Colonel had to be feeling pretty 'off' if he was willing to share such a nebulous hunch with his teammates and, obliquely, ask for help in deciphering it. "Can't say I have, sir. When did you start feeling it?"
"After I got back from Abydos. There was just something nagging at me."
"Perhaps, O'Neill, it has something to do with your conversation with Kasuf."
"I guess." He seemed doubtful.
"Well, it's possible. Maybe if you go over exactly what he said, it'll come to you." Not to mention it would be a good way of getting exactly what had happened out of the notoriously closed-mouthed Colonel.
What? So she was curious.
"Well, I got there, and told Kasuf Daniel wouldn't be coming, and explained to him why."
"How exactly did you explain it, sir?"
The Colonel shot her a look that let her know he thought she was indulging her own curiosity here just a bit, but answered anyway. "I told him Daniel was a spirit. That he wasn't exactly alive, but he wasn't dead either. Kasuf seemed to take it as Daniel being dead. He said..." the Colonel's voice trailed off.
"Sir?"
"He said that Daniel would be with Sha're now. That they'd been apart too long."
Sam looked down awkwardly. In her peripheral vision she could see Teal'c shift slightly. No matter how many times Daniel forgave Teal'c for killing Sha're, Teal'c would never forgive himself. Never. She knew that Daniel had come to see what Teal'c had done as killing a Goa'uld and setting Sha're free, but it had taken time, and Teal'c wasn't there yet. The thought made her throat feel tight.
"Did Daniel believe in the afterlife?"
Thrown by the apparent non-sequitur, Sam gaped at the Colonel, who appeared to have reached a revelation of some sort. "Sir?"
"Did he believe in the afterlife? You know, Heaven? Pearly Gates?"
"I don't know. He never said anything specifically, but I always got the impression he did."
"Teal'c?"
"I concur."
"Okay, so here's the thing that's bothering me: Daniel still missed Sha're, right? Still had nightmares about her? Still thought she was the only one he'd ever be happy with?"
Teal'c's face tightened. "Yes." He said shortly.
"So why would a guy who believes he's about to see the long-lost love of his life in the Great Hereafter choose to become immortal?"
It was a good point. She could almost let it go by without bringing up the flaws in the Colonel's logic, wanted to, in fact, but the scientist in her wouldn't let her do that. "Sir, that doesn't necessarily mean anything. We're only guessing that he even believes in an afterlife at all, and we have no idea what he and Oma talked about before he ascended. He could have had reasons we never heard about."
The Colonel's face fell. "Yeah, I guess."
"Was that all?" Teal'c said sharply. Sam glanced at his face and mentally marked him as Not a Happy Camper. It was apparently going to take Teal'c a few moments to forgive the Colonel for bringing up Sha're like that.
The Colonel frowned again. "No," he said slowly. "Something's still not right."
"Well, did Kasuf say anything else?"
"Uh... he said Daniel was a good man, that he died the way he lived...asked if we were going to keep going through the Stargate...I told him about Jonas, he asked a lot of questions about Jonas' background."
"And that was all?"
"I told him to say hi to Skaara for me."
Sam quirked a smile. "Well, that probably wasn't it."
He grinned back. "No, probably not. But there was something in there."
"Was it about Jonas? Maybe you forgot to tell Kasuf something about him?"
"No, it wasn't - " he straightened abruptly, alarmed. "Wait a minute, I think I've got it now."
"And?" Sam prompted. The look on the Colonel's face was hovering somewhere between concern and doubt.
"There's something wrong with Jonas. Something off."
"Like what?" Sam asked, hanging on to her patience by her fingernails.
"Okay, when Teal'c defected, he was put through the wringer. Interrogated, locked up, the full nine yards."
"Indeed." Teal'c was distinctly unamused by the memory.
"Okay, so why didn't that happen to Jonas? It's practically the same situation. This is the military. Since when do we not take precautions like that?"
Sam frowned. "You know, sir, you're right. That's really strange."
"It's more than strange. Call it a hunch, but something is wrong here. Something is very very wrong."
"I think I agree with you, sir," Sam said slowly. She could feel it, growing in the back of her brain; a swelling Not Right-ness that was making her skin prickle.
Teal'c leaned forward intently. "What do you wish us to do, O'Neill?"
The Colonel waved one hand helplessly. "I'm not sure. It's too vague to bring to Hammond still. I guess we lay low for now - but keep your eyes on Jonas. There's something fishy going on here and he's the closest thing we've got to a lead."
"Yes sir."
* * * * * * * * *
The first explosion rocked the building and Daniel was off, dashing headlong through the corridors to the Stargate. People ran crazily around him, screaming in surprise as the Death Gliders roared by overhead and pummeled the area. He dodged a mother and her child, resolutely quashing stirrings of empathy, focussing completely on his goal.
He almost made it, too. A man grabbed his arm, yelled something, and Daniel tried to push him away, unsure whether the man was hysterical or legitimately trying to stop the captive Tau'ri from escaping.
"Daniel! Follow me!" he shouted, and Daniel spared a moment to wonder whether this was Not-Oma without her illusion. It didn't really matter. He had to get to the Stargate. Like yesterday.
Another blast rocked the building and he pried frantically at the man's fingers, panic beginning to set in. What if the building collapsed around the Stargate? He had to get to it before the Death Gliders razed everything. Had to get to the Stargate. Stargate. Now. Now now nownownowNOW!!!
The man reeled back, bringing his arms up reflexively, and Daniel remembered with a detached clarity that these people were empaths as well as illusion-masters. They might be able to project emotions, but then, so could he. He pivoted and kicked out in a move Jack had despaired of him ever mastering and the man went down, his head hitting the ground with an audible crunch. He lay still. Daniel continued on to the Gateroom. There would be time to think about all this later.
Please be empty...please be empty...
Another explosion, closer this time, and he was thrown to the floor. He scrambled to his feet, ignoring the pain, and kept running.
The Gateroom, when he reached it, was a shambles. There were debris lying everywhere but, miraculously, the Gate was still standing. The few symbols lit up on the DHD and the hand sticking out of a nearby pile of rubble attested to an earlier escape attempt, but Daniel couldn't spare the time to think about it.
Later.
He reached down and triggered the DHD's emergency reset, then typed in the first glyphs that came to mind, and sprinted through the Gate.
He was free.
He would have liked nothing more than to throw himself down on the grass of this alien world, gaze up at the green-tinged clouds, and laugh (or cry) himself sick. He leaned over for a moment, resting his hands on his knees, and took several deep breaths. Calm. He could do this. Calm. Mental breakdowns are not acceptable in the middle of an intergalactic crisis, Daniel.
He turned to the DHD and dialed another planet, picked at random from a vast mental index. He was taking a deliberately circuitous route to his eventual destination on the offchance that anyone tried to follow. He was probably being overly cautious, but it wouldn't hurt. Now that he was off Colona, some of the urgency of his situation had disappeared. He needed to get back to the SGC, of course, and soon, if only to let them know he was all right, but for now he could spare a few minutes to have a nice little breakdown. He definitely wasn't looking forward to telling them what he'd been doing for the past few weeks. He could just hear it now; "So, Daniel, how did you spend your ascension?" "Oh, I made some friends, translated a language, spilled all the secrets of the base to some potentially very dangerous enemies, took a lot of walks in the garden. Nothing much. Been fishing yet, Jack?"
Yeah, that would go over well.
Daniel brought himself back under control and dialed up his next set of coordinates. He thought three planets would be enough to throw anyone off, and spared a moment to laugh at how that sentence would sound to anyone outside the SGC. Join Stargate Command. Have your molecules ripped apart and reassembled faster than a speeding bullet. Leap galaxies in a single bound.
He was starting to think he really needed a vacation.
"Good Son?!" said an incredulous voice behind him.
Daniel whirled, a grin splitting his face. "Good Father! It's wonderful to see you!"
"Good Son, you are alive?" Kasuf cried, embracing him happily. "O'Neill said this was not so!"
"Yes, he would have. He didn't know. I'm sorry, Good Father, it's a very long story, but I am definitely alive. When was Jack here?"
"But a few days ago. He brought me word of your death."
Daniel squeezed Kasuf's shoulder. "I am sorry to have worried you so. Tell me, how did Jack seem when he was here? Was he all right?"
Kasuf smiled reassuringly. "He was in excellent health, Good Son. He was sad, but not excessively so. Will you eat with us?"
Daniel shook his head regretfully. "I'm sorry, Good Father, I can't stay long. I have to get back to the SGC. Does Skaara still have the box Jack gave him?"
Kasuf rolled his eyes in a long-suffering way. "It never strays from his sight. I am glad you have returned. Now you can rejoin your friends. They cannot be happy with the one they have now."
Daniel froze. Suddenly, Abydos had gotten a lot colder and the thought of any extra time away from the base had gotten a lot less appealing. "What other, Good Father?"
"He is one of the people O'Neill said you saved. I believe he was called Jonas Quinn?"
Daniel's heart stopped, it really did.
"Oh my god, of course," he said out loud. "Daniel, you idiot! Of course they would put somebody in the SGC! Stupid, stupid, stupid!"
Kasuf was looking at him in alarm. "Good Son? What is the matter?"
"Kasuf, I'm sorry, I can't explain now. I really, really have to get back. I need Skaara's box. Is he here?"
"No, he went to Ombashu with some friends."
Daniel closed his eyes, a sick feeling of dread and horror spreading up from his stomach. Oh, no. If Jonas somehow got word of the Goa'uld's attack on his planet, who knew what he might do before leaving the SGC? And they would all be caught unawares, unless he could somehow figure out how to transport himself through a trinium/titanium shield and into the Gateroom in time to warn them.
Right. Piece of cake.
"But if this is about the box, he left it with me. O'Neill told him it should not be far from the Cha'apa'ai."
Daniel almost laughed with relief. "You have it? Oh, thank god! Kasuf, I really need it. I promise I'll explain later, but right now I really have to get back."
"Of course. Just a moment."
Daniel spent the few minutes Kasuf was gone pacing agitatedly. When the old man returned Daniel almost snatched the box from him, quickly opening it to take out a GDO.
It had been Jack's idea to stash one on a friendly world, in case they lost theirs somehow. Daniel spared a moment to bless Jack's paranoia.
The Gate whooshed open, and Daniel typed in the code. As he barreled through the event horizon, he heard Kasuf call after him, "I'm expecting that long story sometime soon!"
* * * * * * * * *
The Gateroom was quiet.
The soldiers stood to attention, their guns held correctly, their eyes fixed straight ahead. In the control booth, the technicians gazed calmly about them. Everything was normal.
The Gate shut down behind Daniel and for a moment he stood frozen, completely at sea. The soldiers continued to stare. The technicians continued to putter.
No one had even noticed his arrival.
What the hell?
With a mechanical swish, the Gate began to dial up.
"Chevron one, locked," said a bored voice over the intercom.
Daniel moved hastily off the ramp and approached one of the guards. "Hello?"
No response.
He waved his hand in front of the guard's face. Still nothing.
Beginning to wonder if he'd wandered into another reality, Daniel turned from the guard and gazed skeptically around the room. He'd had a lot of ideas about how his return would be perceived, but this certainly hadn't been one of them. He was starting to get flashbacks of the whole mess with the crystal skull. Now there was an adventure he'd rather not repeat any time soon.
The Gate gushed out its usual spectacular light show and the door at the opposite end of the room opened, admitting a single person. Almost before Daniel had realized who it was walking quickly into the room, he had vaulted the guard rail and planted himself in the center of the ramp.
"Hello, Jonas," he said calmly.
Jonas turned to look at him, a flash of surprise crossing his face. "Doctor Jackson! How did you get here? SG-1 is going to be so glad to see you!" he smiled and started towards the ramp.
"I hope you're not returning to Colona, Jonas."
Apprehension flashed across Jonas' face and was gone, replaced by a pleasant, but confused, smile. "Why not?"
"It's in the middle of a Goa'uld attack. You're probably better off here."
Jonas' face darkened. "How do you know that?"
Daniel braced himself. He was right. He had to be. "I know because I was there. On Colona, Jonas. I never ascended, did I? I was on Colona the whole time."
Jonas' expression never flickered. "I'm not sure what you're referring to, Doctor Jackson."
"It didn't work, Jonas. The Goa'uld attacked because of the deal you made. There is nothing you can do with whatever information you gathered here. You've lost."
Jonas closed his eyes briefly in defeat. "I was only trying to protect my people."
"I know," Daniel said gently.
Out of the corner of his eye, Daniel saw one of the soldiers stir and begin to raise his gun, bringing it to bear on him.
Daniel's eyes flicked back to Jonas' face. Jonas smiled sadly. "I was only trying to protect my people," he repeated.
Daniel's heart began to pound as he realized what Jonas was about to do. A cold flush spread across the back of his neck as his heart rate increased, preparing him for flight...
...and Jonas flinched.
It was a small movement, as movements go, nothing compared to a 200-pound soldier, all of it muscle, swinging a machine gun in your direction. But Daniel saw it, and remembered the reaction of the Colonan man when he'd panicked during the Goa'uld attack.
He took a deep breath and summoned all his fear, lashing out at Jonas with all the force he could muster.
Jonas staggered back and the soldier's gun hit the floor as Jonas' control was interrupted. The other guards began to move as well, looking confused. Daniel felt a small swell of triumph, and then Jonas got himself back under control.
White walls stretched on for eternity, bending and stretching whenever he tried to pin them down. His mind skittered about like rain on hot pavement, muffled and disorganized by the drugs. Spectres leered at him from the white padding, and he whimpered, wishing desperately for someone, anyone, to come set him free. He couldn't be crazy, he couldn't! His mind would never betray him that way. It was all he had, all he could rely on, his mind would never...it would never...noooooo, not crazy, please, let me out, let me out, Jack, Sam, Teal'c, I'm not crazy, please, they're here, they're coming, footsteps, footsteps, trudging down the hall, coming for him, coming to get him footsteps footsteps footsteps control daniel control dont let it get you calm down please im not crazy oh god please please someone help me is anyone there someone please help me dont leave me alone here please breathe calm down daniel breathe like teal'c taught you, breathe, concentrate, control it. Clear your mind. Breathe. In, out. In, out, like curtains blowing in the wind. In, out. In, out.
The padded room faded away and he was back in the Gateroom. Jonas was half-turned away from Daniel, looking over his shoulder at the guards, who were going still again.
Daniel closed his eyes and braced himself mentally, then reached down into the part of himself he kept locked away, accessible only through nightmares. He reached down into the shadows of his memories and grabbed a handful.
Get out of there, Mom! Get out of there, Dad!
I can't care for an eight-year-old boy. It's impossible. Send him to someone else.
Then who do you think built them? Martians, perhaps?
Behold...your queen!
Apparently not much of a foundation there, huh?
You must release your burdens.
A hand, rising limply from a pile of rubble.
A mother and child, screaming in terror as the Death Gliders thundered by overhead.
One by one, he dragged out his demons, his anger, shame, pain, fear, and loss, accepted them as his own, and packed them into a growing ball of darkness, bending them to his will.
Footsteps on the ramp, coming closer.
Hurry, Daniel.
He dredged up more memories, injecting them into his missile.
Footsteps, closer...closer...there.
Daniel's eyes snapped open. Jonas, who was just passing by him on the left, turned slightly to face him in surprise as Daniel reached over, placed his palm gently on the center of Jonas' chest, right above his heart, and released his burden.
For a split second, the Gateroom was full of ghosts. An empty auditorium stretched into the distance, bordered by a falling coverstone and a demoness with glowing eyes. Children on a playground, shouting and taunting. A vat of writhing snakes.
Jonas screamed, long and drawn out, the scream of someone whose mind is being flayed by a thousand demons with nightmare claws and daymare teeth. He fell to his knees and the ghosts flickered and died , leaving the two of them alone once more.
Looking down at the man crumpled at his feet, Daniel couldn't feel anything but tired.
Jonas' eyes hitched unsteadily upwards. He caught Daniel's gaze and for a split second, he almost resembled someone Daniel might have known well a long, long time ago. And then the resemblance was gone, washed away in the blue light of a zat blast. And another. And with a shimmer, Jonas was gone.
Drained, Daniel looked up. Across the room, Teal'c lowered his zat.
"He broke his promise," Teal'c said softly.
Daniel swallowed and nodded. He'd find out what that was all about later. For now, he was just glad to see Sam elbowing her way around Teal'c and running over to him, tackling him with a bear hug that almost knocked him off his feet.
"Daniel! You came back!"
* * * * * * * * *
Daniel closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, suffusing his senses with the long-awaited scent of Ambrosia.
Ahhhh...coffee!
A chuckle behind him alerted him to his company. "Have you stopped guzzling coffee since you got back, Daniel?"
Daniel grinned and turned. "No. What would the point of that be? My mission is to make the entire base smell like coffee. When you can smell it as soon as you get through the Gate, I'll consider myself victorious."
Jack snorted. "You might want to check that with Frasier first."
"Nah. She'll just come up with something healthy and practical, like decaf."
Jack clasped a dramatic hand to his heart. "Horrors, no! Not decaf!"
Grinning deviously, Daniel offered Jack a cup. Jack took it, scowling playfully. "Damn you for having the best coffee on base, anyway."
Daniel smirked and went back to his desk, clearing a pile of papers off his spare chair so Jack could sit down. "You know, I still can't believe you didn't get rid of any of my stuff. I half expected to come back to an empty office."
Jack gestured expansively with his now half-full coffee mug. "Yeah, well, who'd want it? We were about to organize a massive bonfire and marshmallow roasting party in the Gateroom when you came back. Talk about bad timing! We were even going to invite Bra'tac."
Daniel tried to imagine Master Bra'tac solemnly roasting marshmallows on the end of a stick and choked on his coffee. Jack smirked.
"Was there anything particular on your mind, Jack?" He'd noticed that Jack had seemed a little... off the last few days. He'd tried mentioning it to Sam, but all he'd gotten in response was an expressive eye-roll.
"Just thought I'd make sure you hadn't turned into a lava lamp or something. Have I ever told you you have really bad taste in fairy godmothers?"
Daniel snickered into his mug. "No, I don't think that particular topic of conversation ever came up." So Jack didn't want to talk yet. That was okay. Daniel was patient. Give him a few quality one-on-one hours, a little hockey, and the proportional amount of beer, and Jack would spill. It was all a matter of time.
"Daniel?"
Or they could do it right now. That worked too. He quirked an inquiring eyebrow over the rim of his cup.
"What exactly did you do to Jonas? By the time Teal'c got there he was pretty much down for the count."
"Oh, I just stunned him with my formidable intellect and amazing emotional recall."
Jack blinked.
"No, seriously. When I was making my escape from Colona one of the Colonans grabbed me. He practically fell over when I panicked and I realized he was picking up on the intensity of my emotions."
"So you just...mind blasted him?"
"No, actually, I kicked him in the ribs. You would have been proud."
"I meant Jonas, Book Boy."
"Oh, him. Yeah, pretty much. I just dredged up the most emotional stuff I could think of and threw it at him all at once. It acted like an overload, sort of, and then Teal'c did the rest."
"Yeah, remind me never to piss him off."
"No kidding. Yikes."
"And you still have no idea what made the Goa'uld attack Colona?"
"No clue. I guess their negotiations fell through. Wouldn't be the first time we've seen something like that happen, anyway."
"Why were the Colonans trying to make a deal with the Goa'uld in the first place?"
Daniel grimaced. "Well, this is all conjecture, mind you, but Jonas did tell us - or, at least, I think he did - that Colona was at war with the two other nations on the planet. I guess they were just looking for a little outside help with that."
For a moment, Daniel thought Jack was going to call his bluff, and then Jack shrugged, drained his cup, and sighed blissfully.
"God, I missed your coffee."
"Nice to know I'm loved," Daniel said dryly, getting up for a refill.
He was glad Jack hadn't picked up on his little white lie. That last night in the garden, it had occurred to Daniel that the best way he could fight back would be with information...or, in this case, disinformation. Since he'd been spilling his guts so merrily for so long, there was no reason Not-Oma would suspect he was lying. So, as they had strolled aimlessly through the garden, he'd told the biggest whopper of his life. Even worse than telling General West he could get the team back from Abydos, uh-huh, no problem, absolutely sure, sir.
"You know, Oma, I kind of wish I'd known then what I know now. Half of the messes we've gotten into would have been avoided if we'd just had a little more foresight."
"What do you mean, Daniel?"
"Well, when we first set out through the Gate, we had no idea what the rest of the universe held. And the first people we met, practically, we blew up."
"You mean the Goa'uld Ra."
"Yes. If we'd understood then how things were, I don't think we would have done that. It would have been a lot smarter to just ask for an alliance."
"Really? I'm surprised to hear you say that. Haven't you spent the past several years trying to defeat the Goa'uld?"
"Yes, but that was mostly because they tried to attack us first. As soon as we killed Ra we set into motion a whole chain of events that brought us to war with the Goa'uld. If we had gotten their protection in the first place, we could have lived in relative peace. I mean, the Goa'uld are the only ones who have tried to attack us. If we hadn't antagonized them from the start, we would have been fine."
"I see. How would you have gone about getting their allegiance, Daniel?"
"Well, knowing what I know now, I think we should have entered into negotiations, promised them something - maybe a few hosts, people who were dying, like General Carter, and wanted so badly to live - and then, if we decided we needed more than they were offering, threatened them with a different alliance, with someone like the Asgard maybe. I think they would have responded well to that. They're very arrogant, and they respect that when they come across it in other people. I guess I just would have told them to take a hike if they weren't ready to deal on my terms."
"Interesting, Daniel. That is not what I would have expected you to say."
"Daniel?"
"Huh?" Daniel blinked, rousing himself from his reverie. "Did you say something, Jack?"
Jack was giving him a concerned look. "You kind of spaced out on me there, buddy."
Daniel grimaced apologetically. "Just thinking. There are a lot of loose ends still, you know?" No, Jack didn't need to be told why the Goa'uld attacked. Daniel was still trying to come to terms with it himself; he didn't need Jack worrying about it as well. Didn't need Jack to know what he'd inadvertently taught Daniel over the years about priorities and achieving ends by whatever means necessary.
That stuff I was talking about at my house...the place was bugged...obviously, the whole friendship thing, the foundation, it's all solid...
Jack would not be proud.
Jack made a face. "Yeah, I know. You never figured out which Goa'uld it was?"
Daniel shook his head and settled back into his chair. "No. None of the stuff I found mentioned him by name, and of course no one told me."
"Yeah. Oh, I have some interesting news, by the way."
Daniel tensed. This, he could feel, was what Jack had come to his office for; not a conversation about lava lamps, not a reiteration of the briefing he'd already sat through, and not even because Daniel did have the best coffee on base. "Oh?"
"Yeah...so, Frasier checked her records. To see if, you know, we could pin down when exactly you were...taken."
Daniel winced.
"Hey!" Jack said sharply. "Don't go beating yourself up about that, okay? We were all taken in. We trusted Jonas from the start, and I doubt we would have figured anything out anywhere near fast enough if you hadn't started kicking up a fuss with Miss Glowworm there."
Daniel gave Jack a wan smile. "Thanks." It was nice of Jack to say that. It might even be true. Didn't change the way he was feeling, though. "So, Janet's records?"
Jack fixed him with a hard look, as if to tell him he wasn't fooling anyone, least of all Colonel Jack O'Neill, USAF, then resumed his narrative. "Yeah, so she checked her records. They're gone."
"So...I never came back to the SGC at all? I never even left Colona?"
"Maybe. I mean, they were gone, Daniel. All of them. Your whole file. Could have been to throw us off, could have been because you actually did do the whole 'Glow me' thing. Can't say, for sure."
Daniel shrugged. He was much more interested in the Goa'uld and the fate of the Colonans anyway.
"Oh, and another thing. Hammond had Siler check all the security tapes? They're all gone too. Everything from when we gated to Colona to when Jonas left. All gone. Only thing they did manage to keep were your mental pyrotechnics in the Gateroom."
Daniel drained his coffee cup. "It's too bad. I wish we knew exactly what it was we'd stumbled into."
"Yeah, I know. Me too. I guess it's just something we'll never know."
"C'est la vie."
"What?"
"That's life."
"Oh. I knew that."
"I could tell. Did the General try to send a bomb through to Colona?"
Jack gave him a sharp look, probably more for the tonelessness of his voice than for the question itself, and scowled. "He tried. Would have made everybody a lot happier, knowing they were definitely taken care of, but we couldn't dial it up. Either their Gate was buried in the attack or they did it themselves. Either way, we're not going to get anything through any time soon."
"Yeah," Daniel said, staring down into his empty cup.
"You did what you had to, Danny," Jack said softly. "No one faults you for that. Frankly, I'm glad you did what you did. If you hadn't figured it out, we'd all be in one helluva mess right now."
Daniel smiled. It was a real smile, with only a slight undertone of sadness and a little tinge of bitterness. "Yeah, I know. Live and learn, huh?"
Jack smiled back, letting him off the hook. "No shit. Hey, you free tonight? There's a game on. I was going to make it a team thing, but Teal'c's doing some sort of Jaffa voodoo death-of-a-thousand-paper-cuts thing on Jonas' memory and Carter's reading Cosmo again, so it looks like you're it."
Daniel blinked in surprise. "Sam doesn't read Cosmo."
Jack rolled his eyes. "That's what you think. You coming, or what?"
"I'm right behind you."
FINIS
AUTHOR'S NOTE UPON REPOSTING: This was written right after Meridian aired, when the Mighty Internet hadn't settled on the spelling of 'Kelowna' yet and as I didn't know much about the place in British Columbia of the same name at the time, I went with a phonetic spelling.
AUTHOR'S NOTE THE SECOND: 'Meridian', among other things, is an astronomical term referring to an imaginary equator that runs perpendicular to the horizon. Given the episode's content, I took it to mean something like one's journey to the apex of existence (abstract, okay, but bear with me). With that in mind, I chose 'Nadir' as my title, as it refers (again, somewhat abstractly) to the point directly below a given surface - basically, if you stood outside and pointed straight up, you'd be pointing at the highest point on the meridian, and if you then pointed between your feet, you'd be pointing at the nadir. To put it even more simply: 'nadir' is the opposite of 'meridian' in much the same way as I took the principles of Meridian the episode and made them opposite in my story, and I think too much about my titles. ;-)
Jack's papers were impeccably stacked. He'd evened the sides with a ruler. His paperclips were linked, his rubber bands had all been fired at the opposite wall, and he'd lost seventeen games of Solitaire. All his e-mails had been answered. He'd even polished his boots.
He was running out of ways to procrastinate.
A gentle knock at the door interrupted him. Carter poked her head around the door, and when he didn't yell at her, eased her way in.
"Sir? I thought you were going to talk to Kasuf?"
"I am." He said defensively.
Her eyes tracked over his impeccable desk and the detritus of his earlier target practice and came back to rest on his face, annoyed. "Sir!"
"I know, Carter!" He said quickly, forestalling her reprimand. "And I'll do it. I'm just preparing. Mentally."
She quirked an eyebrow sourly at him. "Don't hurt yourself."
He gaped at her. "That was almost a Danielism, Carter."
She had the grace to look abashed, but raised her chin defiantly nonetheless. "Someone had to, sir. Now go talk to Kasuf, or I'll tell Janet to use the big needle next time. With all due respect."
He glared, "Insubordination, Major," but his heart wasn't in it. He spared a nostalgic moment for days of yore when Carter hadn't had the guts to tell him he was being an ass, but he acknowledged in his heart that she was only pushing it this far because Daniel couldn't any more. He sighed grumpily. Having a four-person team really sucked sometimes. It was too obvious when one of the members was missing.
With a petulant look in Carter's direction, he levered himself out of his suddenly sinfully comfortable office chair and ambled out into the hallway. "See you on the flip side, Major," he quipped. This was one Gate ride he wasn't going to put Teal'c and Carter through.
The Gateroom on Abydos was, as always, way too hot for his Minnesota-bred tastes, but it reminded him of Daniel, which was kind of nice. What wasn't nice was the old man standing regally at the foot of the Stargate's dais, looking expectantly into the wormhole behind Jack.
"Daniel isn't coming, Kasuf."
Kasuf paled. "Has my Good Son come to harm?"
Jack looked at the ground, the walls, the ceiling, and finally the anxious face in front of him. "Sort of. It's a long story. You might want to sit down."
He'd meant that maybe they should go to Kasuf's tent, or the city of Nagada nestled in the distant sand dunes, but Kasuf plonked himself down on the lowest stone stair and eyed Jack expectantly. Jack sighed. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Maybe he was coming down with asthma or something.
"First off, Daniel isn't dead." Kasuf's eyes closed in relief. "But he's not really alive, either. See, we were on a mission, and there was a bomb that was going to go off...okay, let me rephrase." He started again, making it simpler this time, trying not to get caught up in the details. That would be bad. The details were...bad. "Daniel sacrificed himself to save a whole lot of people, but instead of dying, and he turned into...I dunno, I guess you'd say he's energy. A spirit, maybe? So he's not dead, but he's not alive." Jack ran his hands through his hair distractedly. "Ah shit, I'm no good at this stuff. I should've sent Carter," he mumbled, and glanced hopelessly at Kasuf. "Do you get what I'm trying to say?"
Kasuf frowned thoughtfully. "I believe so. My Good Son is a spirit? You say he died well."
"Well, not dead, exactly, but yeah," Jack said, trying not to remember the single, toneless, drawn-out beep from the heart monitor as Daniel's body vanished into light. "Real well. He did good. Would've done better if he hadn't died at all, but hey, he did his best."
Kasuf knitted his fingers together and stared fixedly at the ground. "Then he died as he lived. He was a good man."
"Yeah, he was."
They sat for a moment in near silence, Jack resting his hand awkwardly on Kasuf's bony shoulder, at a loss again for anything to say, as the man mumbled what Jack assumed to be a prayer under his breath.
"Will you continue your travels through the Cha'apa'ai? With the rest of your team?" Kasuf asked finally.
Jack perked up, glad to say something he actually had words for. "Oh, yeah. We won't stop that, don't worry. And actually, we even have a fourth team member, Jonas Quinn. One of the guys Daniel saved joined up."
"This Jonas Quinn, he is a good man? Of good family?"
"Well, I don't really know his family, but yeah, I'd say he's a good guy."
"He has proved his honor? He will continue the fight as my Good Son would have?"
"Yeah. He's a lot different from Daniel, but he'll do a good job."
Kasuf nodded in satisfaction. "Then it is good. I will go now and make ready for the ceremony to mark my Good Son's passing into the spirit realms. You will stay?"
Jack thought of Daniel's face, unreadable behind the dark glasses he hadn't removed for Sha're's funeral, and knew without a doubt he couldn't go through that for Daniel. "Nah, I've got to get back. I'm sorry to bring such bad news, Kasuf."
Kasuf studied his hands for a moment. "It is good that he has joined the spirit realms. Now he will see my Sha're. They have been too long apart."
Jack couldn't think of anything to say to that. "Well, good luck. Say hi to Skaara for me."
"I will."
Daniel ran through his cover story again just in case, took a deep breath, and cursed his luck. He'd been up most of the night trying to decide what to do next. Thankfully, Not-Oma seemed to have bought his claim of another nightmare after the Colona Revelation's ensuing panic attack, and as far as he could tell, she still thought he was completely in the dark. He had ventured a few more strategic grumbles over the disappearance of the Arabic scroll, just so no one would think he had forgotten, and then studiously spent several hours throwing himself against the metaphoric brick wall of Not-Oma's language. He had actually made some headway, enough to give him a general idea of what was being said, and had then retired to his room.
It was time for the next step.
He stood at the window by the dead curtains and carefully surveyed the room. Okay, so when Not-Oma 'appeared' in his room, she usually came from about...there...
He closed his eyes and ran through the same exercise that had revealed Colona. True to his theory, when he looked at the room again, there was a small unobtrusive opening on the section of the wall Not-Oma used to 'melt' through. He ran through the exercise again, just to make sure he wasn't deceiving himself and getting caught in the Expectations trap, and then crept over and peered cautiously through the doorway. There didn't seem to be anyone occupying the room on the other side.
Tentatively he stepped inside, reciting the opening of the Odyssey to cover his pounding heart and prickling nerve endings. The room was empty, and Daniel relaxed somewhat. He ran through the meditation exercise again, just in case, and stood for a moment, just memorizing the layout of the room. It was fairly Spartan, containing little more than a bed and a desk. The desk seemed the most likely place to start, so he headed in that direction, tiptoeing gingerly across the stone floor like a child playing a game of hide-and-seek. There didn't seem to be any papers or personal effects on top of the desk, but there were still two drawers he could look through.
A close inspection of the drawers revealed no hidden traps or alarms and, his heart in his mouth and the Odyssey in his head, he eased the first one open...
And hit the jackpot. Thankfully, Colona wasn't advanced enough to use complicated and, to him, utterly mystifying mechanical devices for storing information, and he was faced instead with a pile of papers, each inscribed with a simplified version of the difficult writing in the library scrolls. Daniel figured what he was reading now was probably a more modern version of his latest linguistic headache, and thanked his lucky stars it had moved into the realms of what he was familiar with instead of becoming even more obscure.
He pulled out the stack and leafed through it, muttering to himself as he translated on the fly. The top sheets seemed to deal with an alliance of some kind, a proposal written to and presumably accepted by a Council of Elders. With a pang, Daniel realized it dealt with his own subtle interrogation.
"Our part of the alliance, with the addition of the information gleaned from the Tau'ri, should be fulfilled in a few days, a week at the most. I propose that we prepare to bargain for more technology and aid pending a discussion with the Tau'ri regarding the customs and bargaining habits of the..." he squinted at the last word, mentally flicking through his index of languages, looking for the root word...yes...he had it..."...the Serpent One," uh-oh, that had an ominous ring to it - "called Goa'uld by the Tau'ri." Oh, crap. Was there anything the Goa'uld wouldn't mess with?
He read further, hoping to find the Goa'uld mentioned by name, but the proposal gave him no more useful information. Hastily tapping the papers back into a stack, he shoved them into the first drawer and went on to the second.
The second drawer contained a few personal items; a photograph of a group of people, a letter from someone who appeared to be a family member. Nothing he could use.
Daniel sat for a few moments lost in thought before carefully replacing the photograph and slipping noiselessly back through the doorway into his own room. Well. That was all very interesting. So Colona had made a deal with the devil.
Now what was he going to do about it?
He settled himself on the bed and thought hard. Problem number one: he was a prisoner. Problem number two: he had inadvertently given a whole lot of important information to the enemy. Problem number three: they were going to use that information against Earth, and probably kill him. Problem number four: somehow managing to take Not-Oma out of the equation wouldn't help, because he had no idea how much information she had already passed on to her superiors. He was reasonably certain the Colonans hadn't given any information to the Goa'uld yet, because the proposal had indicated that they still hoped to get some useful information from him regarding the business practices of the Goa'uld.
So, at the very least, he had to make sure the Goa'uld/Colonan alliance didn't go through. And even if he managed to control the damage brought about by his own involuntary gut-spilling, there was always the chance someone else from the SGC could run into an illusion-master and be taken in the same way.
He let his head thump back against the wall with a sigh of frustration, thinking bitterly that there had been a reason he had chosen academia and not the military.
Not-Oma walked through the door. "Good evening, Daniel. I see you're still awake."
A detached part of Daniel's mind kindly pointed out to him that she wasn't speaking in riddles, wasn't glowing, was wearing a pantsuit and the Colonan equivalent of pearls, and how had he ever been dumb enough to buy into all this in the first place? Daniel told that part of his mind to shut up and go away, and smiled warmly at Not-Oma. "I couldn't sleep. Can't turn my brain off tonight for some reason."
She returned his smile. "Come walk with me in the garden. The night air will clear your thoughts and help you rest."
The glimmer of a plan began to form in Daniel's mind. "That sounds lovely," he told her sincerely.
A knock on the door interrupted Sam's perusal of her magazine. Hastily stuffing the contraband into a desk drawer, she picked up her pen and tried to look studious. "Come in?"
Colonel O'Neill stuck his head through the door. "Carter, you busy?"
A guilty glance at the stack of papers closest to her told her she could arrange to be free. "No sir. I'm all yours."
"Okay. We're going to Teal'c's quarters."
Puzzled, she followed him. He seemed tense about something, but it wasn't anything specific she could put her finger on. It was somewhere between his usual I've-been-thinking-and-it's-making-me-unhappy tension and damn-now-we've-got-to-save-the-world-again-and-I-was-just-going-to-go-fishing.
I-i-i-nteresting.
A quick rap on Teal'c's door gained them entry. Teal'c was seated in the midst of his candles performing kel-no-reem, and the Colonel settled himself down on the floor without a single complaint about his knees or the hardness of the cement.
Curiouser and curiouser.
"O'Neill. Major Carter." Teal'c acknowledged.
There was a long pause.
"Sir?" Sam prompted when the Colonel seemed reluctant to begin talking.
Now that he had them all together, he seemed to be at a loss as to what to say. "Have you..." he cleared his throat. "Did you notice anything...odd the past few days?"
Sam blinked. "Odd like how, sir?"
"Like...unusual. I don't know, all of a sudden something feels off to me. I can't quite put my finger on it. It's like we forgot to do something."
Sam frowned in concentration. The Colonel had to be feeling pretty 'off' if he was willing to share such a nebulous hunch with his teammates and, obliquely, ask for help in deciphering it. "Can't say I have, sir. When did you start feeling it?"
"After I got back from Abydos. There was just something nagging at me."
"Perhaps, O'Neill, it has something to do with your conversation with Kasuf."
"I guess." He seemed doubtful.
"Well, it's possible. Maybe if you go over exactly what he said, it'll come to you." Not to mention it would be a good way of getting exactly what had happened out of the notoriously closed-mouthed Colonel.
What? So she was curious.
"Well, I got there, and told Kasuf Daniel wouldn't be coming, and explained to him why."
"How exactly did you explain it, sir?"
The Colonel shot her a look that let her know he thought she was indulging her own curiosity here just a bit, but answered anyway. "I told him Daniel was a spirit. That he wasn't exactly alive, but he wasn't dead either. Kasuf seemed to take it as Daniel being dead. He said..." the Colonel's voice trailed off.
"Sir?"
"He said that Daniel would be with Sha're now. That they'd been apart too long."
Sam looked down awkwardly. In her peripheral vision she could see Teal'c shift slightly. No matter how many times Daniel forgave Teal'c for killing Sha're, Teal'c would never forgive himself. Never. She knew that Daniel had come to see what Teal'c had done as killing a Goa'uld and setting Sha're free, but it had taken time, and Teal'c wasn't there yet. The thought made her throat feel tight.
"Did Daniel believe in the afterlife?"
Thrown by the apparent non-sequitur, Sam gaped at the Colonel, who appeared to have reached a revelation of some sort. "Sir?"
"Did he believe in the afterlife? You know, Heaven? Pearly Gates?"
"I don't know. He never said anything specifically, but I always got the impression he did."
"Teal'c?"
"I concur."
"Okay, so here's the thing that's bothering me: Daniel still missed Sha're, right? Still had nightmares about her? Still thought she was the only one he'd ever be happy with?"
Teal'c's face tightened. "Yes." He said shortly.
"So why would a guy who believes he's about to see the long-lost love of his life in the Great Hereafter choose to become immortal?"
It was a good point. She could almost let it go by without bringing up the flaws in the Colonel's logic, wanted to, in fact, but the scientist in her wouldn't let her do that. "Sir, that doesn't necessarily mean anything. We're only guessing that he even believes in an afterlife at all, and we have no idea what he and Oma talked about before he ascended. He could have had reasons we never heard about."
The Colonel's face fell. "Yeah, I guess."
"Was that all?" Teal'c said sharply. Sam glanced at his face and mentally marked him as Not a Happy Camper. It was apparently going to take Teal'c a few moments to forgive the Colonel for bringing up Sha're like that.
The Colonel frowned again. "No," he said slowly. "Something's still not right."
"Well, did Kasuf say anything else?"
"Uh... he said Daniel was a good man, that he died the way he lived...asked if we were going to keep going through the Stargate...I told him about Jonas, he asked a lot of questions about Jonas' background."
"And that was all?"
"I told him to say hi to Skaara for me."
Sam quirked a smile. "Well, that probably wasn't it."
He grinned back. "No, probably not. But there was something in there."
"Was it about Jonas? Maybe you forgot to tell Kasuf something about him?"
"No, it wasn't - " he straightened abruptly, alarmed. "Wait a minute, I think I've got it now."
"And?" Sam prompted. The look on the Colonel's face was hovering somewhere between concern and doubt.
"There's something wrong with Jonas. Something off."
"Like what?" Sam asked, hanging on to her patience by her fingernails.
"Okay, when Teal'c defected, he was put through the wringer. Interrogated, locked up, the full nine yards."
"Indeed." Teal'c was distinctly unamused by the memory.
"Okay, so why didn't that happen to Jonas? It's practically the same situation. This is the military. Since when do we not take precautions like that?"
Sam frowned. "You know, sir, you're right. That's really strange."
"It's more than strange. Call it a hunch, but something is wrong here. Something is very very wrong."
"I think I agree with you, sir," Sam said slowly. She could feel it, growing in the back of her brain; a swelling Not Right-ness that was making her skin prickle.
Teal'c leaned forward intently. "What do you wish us to do, O'Neill?"
The Colonel waved one hand helplessly. "I'm not sure. It's too vague to bring to Hammond still. I guess we lay low for now - but keep your eyes on Jonas. There's something fishy going on here and he's the closest thing we've got to a lead."
"Yes sir."
The first explosion rocked the building and Daniel was off, dashing headlong through the corridors to the Stargate. People ran crazily around him, screaming in surprise as the Death Gliders roared by overhead and pummeled the area. He dodged a mother and her child, resolutely quashing stirrings of empathy, focussing completely on his goal.
He almost made it, too. A man grabbed his arm, yelled something, and Daniel tried to push him away, unsure whether the man was hysterical or legitimately trying to stop the captive Tau'ri from escaping.
"Daniel! Follow me!" he shouted, and Daniel spared a moment to wonder whether this was Not-Oma without her illusion. It didn't really matter. He had to get to the Stargate. Like yesterday.
Another blast rocked the building and he pried frantically at the man's fingers, panic beginning to set in. What if the building collapsed around the Stargate? He had to get to it before the Death Gliders razed everything. Had to get to the Stargate. Stargate. Now. Now now nownownowNOW!!!
The man reeled back, bringing his arms up reflexively, and Daniel remembered with a detached clarity that these people were empaths as well as illusion-masters. They might be able to project emotions, but then, so could he. He pivoted and kicked out in a move Jack had despaired of him ever mastering and the man went down, his head hitting the ground with an audible crunch. He lay still. Daniel continued on to the Gateroom. There would be time to think about all this later.
Please be empty...please be empty...
Another explosion, closer this time, and he was thrown to the floor. He scrambled to his feet, ignoring the pain, and kept running.
The Gateroom, when he reached it, was a shambles. There were debris lying everywhere but, miraculously, the Gate was still standing. The few symbols lit up on the DHD and the hand sticking out of a nearby pile of rubble attested to an earlier escape attempt, but Daniel couldn't spare the time to think about it.
Later.
He reached down and triggered the DHD's emergency reset, then typed in the first glyphs that came to mind, and sprinted through the Gate.
He was free.
He would have liked nothing more than to throw himself down on the grass of this alien world, gaze up at the green-tinged clouds, and laugh (or cry) himself sick. He leaned over for a moment, resting his hands on his knees, and took several deep breaths. Calm. He could do this. Calm. Mental breakdowns are not acceptable in the middle of an intergalactic crisis, Daniel.
He turned to the DHD and dialed another planet, picked at random from a vast mental index. He was taking a deliberately circuitous route to his eventual destination on the offchance that anyone tried to follow. He was probably being overly cautious, but it wouldn't hurt. Now that he was off Colona, some of the urgency of his situation had disappeared. He needed to get back to the SGC, of course, and soon, if only to let them know he was all right, but for now he could spare a few minutes to have a nice little breakdown. He definitely wasn't looking forward to telling them what he'd been doing for the past few weeks. He could just hear it now; "So, Daniel, how did you spend your ascension?" "Oh, I made some friends, translated a language, spilled all the secrets of the base to some potentially very dangerous enemies, took a lot of walks in the garden. Nothing much. Been fishing yet, Jack?"
Yeah, that would go over well.
Daniel brought himself back under control and dialed up his next set of coordinates. He thought three planets would be enough to throw anyone off, and spared a moment to laugh at how that sentence would sound to anyone outside the SGC. Join Stargate Command. Have your molecules ripped apart and reassembled faster than a speeding bullet. Leap galaxies in a single bound.
He was starting to think he really needed a vacation.
"Good Son?!" said an incredulous voice behind him.
Daniel whirled, a grin splitting his face. "Good Father! It's wonderful to see you!"
"Good Son, you are alive?" Kasuf cried, embracing him happily. "O'Neill said this was not so!"
"Yes, he would have. He didn't know. I'm sorry, Good Father, it's a very long story, but I am definitely alive. When was Jack here?"
"But a few days ago. He brought me word of your death."
Daniel squeezed Kasuf's shoulder. "I am sorry to have worried you so. Tell me, how did Jack seem when he was here? Was he all right?"
Kasuf smiled reassuringly. "He was in excellent health, Good Son. He was sad, but not excessively so. Will you eat with us?"
Daniel shook his head regretfully. "I'm sorry, Good Father, I can't stay long. I have to get back to the SGC. Does Skaara still have the box Jack gave him?"
Kasuf rolled his eyes in a long-suffering way. "It never strays from his sight. I am glad you have returned. Now you can rejoin your friends. They cannot be happy with the one they have now."
Daniel froze. Suddenly, Abydos had gotten a lot colder and the thought of any extra time away from the base had gotten a lot less appealing. "What other, Good Father?"
"He is one of the people O'Neill said you saved. I believe he was called Jonas Quinn?"
Daniel's heart stopped, it really did.
"Oh my god, of course," he said out loud. "Daniel, you idiot! Of course they would put somebody in the SGC! Stupid, stupid, stupid!"
Kasuf was looking at him in alarm. "Good Son? What is the matter?"
"Kasuf, I'm sorry, I can't explain now. I really, really have to get back. I need Skaara's box. Is he here?"
"No, he went to Ombashu with some friends."
Daniel closed his eyes, a sick feeling of dread and horror spreading up from his stomach. Oh, no. If Jonas somehow got word of the Goa'uld's attack on his planet, who knew what he might do before leaving the SGC? And they would all be caught unawares, unless he could somehow figure out how to transport himself through a trinium/titanium shield and into the Gateroom in time to warn them.
Right. Piece of cake.
"But if this is about the box, he left it with me. O'Neill told him it should not be far from the Cha'apa'ai."
Daniel almost laughed with relief. "You have it? Oh, thank god! Kasuf, I really need it. I promise I'll explain later, but right now I really have to get back."
"Of course. Just a moment."
Daniel spent the few minutes Kasuf was gone pacing agitatedly. When the old man returned Daniel almost snatched the box from him, quickly opening it to take out a GDO.
It had been Jack's idea to stash one on a friendly world, in case they lost theirs somehow. Daniel spared a moment to bless Jack's paranoia.
The Gate whooshed open, and Daniel typed in the code. As he barreled through the event horizon, he heard Kasuf call after him, "I'm expecting that long story sometime soon!"
The Gateroom was quiet.
The soldiers stood to attention, their guns held correctly, their eyes fixed straight ahead. In the control booth, the technicians gazed calmly about them. Everything was normal.
The Gate shut down behind Daniel and for a moment he stood frozen, completely at sea. The soldiers continued to stare. The technicians continued to putter.
No one had even noticed his arrival.
What the hell?
With a mechanical swish, the Gate began to dial up.
"Chevron one, locked," said a bored voice over the intercom.
Daniel moved hastily off the ramp and approached one of the guards. "Hello?"
No response.
He waved his hand in front of the guard's face. Still nothing.
Beginning to wonder if he'd wandered into another reality, Daniel turned from the guard and gazed skeptically around the room. He'd had a lot of ideas about how his return would be perceived, but this certainly hadn't been one of them. He was starting to get flashbacks of the whole mess with the crystal skull. Now there was an adventure he'd rather not repeat any time soon.
The Gate gushed out its usual spectacular light show and the door at the opposite end of the room opened, admitting a single person. Almost before Daniel had realized who it was walking quickly into the room, he had vaulted the guard rail and planted himself in the center of the ramp.
"Hello, Jonas," he said calmly.
Jonas turned to look at him, a flash of surprise crossing his face. "Doctor Jackson! How did you get here? SG-1 is going to be so glad to see you!" he smiled and started towards the ramp.
"I hope you're not returning to Colona, Jonas."
Apprehension flashed across Jonas' face and was gone, replaced by a pleasant, but confused, smile. "Why not?"
"It's in the middle of a Goa'uld attack. You're probably better off here."
Jonas' face darkened. "How do you know that?"
Daniel braced himself. He was right. He had to be. "I know because I was there. On Colona, Jonas. I never ascended, did I? I was on Colona the whole time."
Jonas' expression never flickered. "I'm not sure what you're referring to, Doctor Jackson."
"It didn't work, Jonas. The Goa'uld attacked because of the deal you made. There is nothing you can do with whatever information you gathered here. You've lost."
Jonas closed his eyes briefly in defeat. "I was only trying to protect my people."
"I know," Daniel said gently.
Out of the corner of his eye, Daniel saw one of the soldiers stir and begin to raise his gun, bringing it to bear on him.
Daniel's eyes flicked back to Jonas' face. Jonas smiled sadly. "I was only trying to protect my people," he repeated.
Daniel's heart began to pound as he realized what Jonas was about to do. A cold flush spread across the back of his neck as his heart rate increased, preparing him for flight...
...and Jonas flinched.
It was a small movement, as movements go, nothing compared to a 200-pound soldier, all of it muscle, swinging a machine gun in your direction. But Daniel saw it, and remembered the reaction of the Colonan man when he'd panicked during the Goa'uld attack.
He took a deep breath and summoned all his fear, lashing out at Jonas with all the force he could muster.
Jonas staggered back and the soldier's gun hit the floor as Jonas' control was interrupted. The other guards began to move as well, looking confused. Daniel felt a small swell of triumph, and then Jonas got himself back under control.
White walls stretched on for eternity, bending and stretching whenever he tried to pin them down. His mind skittered about like rain on hot pavement, muffled and disorganized by the drugs. Spectres leered at him from the white padding, and he whimpered, wishing desperately for someone, anyone, to come set him free. He couldn't be crazy, he couldn't! His mind would never betray him that way. It was all he had, all he could rely on, his mind would never...it would never...noooooo, not crazy, please, let me out, let me out, Jack, Sam, Teal'c, I'm not crazy, please, they're here, they're coming, footsteps, footsteps, trudging down the hall, coming for him, coming to get him footsteps footsteps footsteps control daniel control dont let it get you calm down please im not crazy oh god please please someone help me is anyone there someone please help me dont leave me alone here please breathe calm down daniel breathe like teal'c taught you, breathe, concentrate, control it. Clear your mind. Breathe. In, out. In, out, like curtains blowing in the wind. In, out. In, out.
The padded room faded away and he was back in the Gateroom. Jonas was half-turned away from Daniel, looking over his shoulder at the guards, who were going still again.
Daniel closed his eyes and braced himself mentally, then reached down into the part of himself he kept locked away, accessible only through nightmares. He reached down into the shadows of his memories and grabbed a handful.
Get out of there, Mom! Get out of there, Dad!
I can't care for an eight-year-old boy. It's impossible. Send him to someone else.
Then who do you think built them? Martians, perhaps?
Behold...your queen!
Apparently not much of a foundation there, huh?
You must release your burdens.
A hand, rising limply from a pile of rubble.
A mother and child, screaming in terror as the Death Gliders thundered by overhead.
One by one, he dragged out his demons, his anger, shame, pain, fear, and loss, accepted them as his own, and packed them into a growing ball of darkness, bending them to his will.
Footsteps on the ramp, coming closer.
Hurry, Daniel.
He dredged up more memories, injecting them into his missile.
Footsteps, closer...closer...there.
Daniel's eyes snapped open. Jonas, who was just passing by him on the left, turned slightly to face him in surprise as Daniel reached over, placed his palm gently on the center of Jonas' chest, right above his heart, and released his burden.
For a split second, the Gateroom was full of ghosts. An empty auditorium stretched into the distance, bordered by a falling coverstone and a demoness with glowing eyes. Children on a playground, shouting and taunting. A vat of writhing snakes.
Jonas screamed, long and drawn out, the scream of someone whose mind is being flayed by a thousand demons with nightmare claws and daymare teeth. He fell to his knees and the ghosts flickered and died , leaving the two of them alone once more.
Looking down at the man crumpled at his feet, Daniel couldn't feel anything but tired.
Jonas' eyes hitched unsteadily upwards. He caught Daniel's gaze and for a split second, he almost resembled someone Daniel might have known well a long, long time ago. And then the resemblance was gone, washed away in the blue light of a zat blast. And another. And with a shimmer, Jonas was gone.
Drained, Daniel looked up. Across the room, Teal'c lowered his zat.
"He broke his promise," Teal'c said softly.
Daniel swallowed and nodded. He'd find out what that was all about later. For now, he was just glad to see Sam elbowing her way around Teal'c and running over to him, tackling him with a bear hug that almost knocked him off his feet.
"Daniel! You came back!"
Daniel closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, suffusing his senses with the long-awaited scent of Ambrosia.
Ahhhh...coffee!
A chuckle behind him alerted him to his company. "Have you stopped guzzling coffee since you got back, Daniel?"
Daniel grinned and turned. "No. What would the point of that be? My mission is to make the entire base smell like coffee. When you can smell it as soon as you get through the Gate, I'll consider myself victorious."
Jack snorted. "You might want to check that with Frasier first."
"Nah. She'll just come up with something healthy and practical, like decaf."
Jack clasped a dramatic hand to his heart. "Horrors, no! Not decaf!"
Grinning deviously, Daniel offered Jack a cup. Jack took it, scowling playfully. "Damn you for having the best coffee on base, anyway."
Daniel smirked and went back to his desk, clearing a pile of papers off his spare chair so Jack could sit down. "You know, I still can't believe you didn't get rid of any of my stuff. I half expected to come back to an empty office."
Jack gestured expansively with his now half-full coffee mug. "Yeah, well, who'd want it? We were about to organize a massive bonfire and marshmallow roasting party in the Gateroom when you came back. Talk about bad timing! We were even going to invite Bra'tac."
Daniel tried to imagine Master Bra'tac solemnly roasting marshmallows on the end of a stick and choked on his coffee. Jack smirked.
"Was there anything particular on your mind, Jack?" He'd noticed that Jack had seemed a little... off the last few days. He'd tried mentioning it to Sam, but all he'd gotten in response was an expressive eye-roll.
"Just thought I'd make sure you hadn't turned into a lava lamp or something. Have I ever told you you have really bad taste in fairy godmothers?"
Daniel snickered into his mug. "No, I don't think that particular topic of conversation ever came up." So Jack didn't want to talk yet. That was okay. Daniel was patient. Give him a few quality one-on-one hours, a little hockey, and the proportional amount of beer, and Jack would spill. It was all a matter of time.
"Daniel?"
Or they could do it right now. That worked too. He quirked an inquiring eyebrow over the rim of his cup.
"What exactly did you do to Jonas? By the time Teal'c got there he was pretty much down for the count."
"Oh, I just stunned him with my formidable intellect and amazing emotional recall."
Jack blinked.
"No, seriously. When I was making my escape from Colona one of the Colonans grabbed me. He practically fell over when I panicked and I realized he was picking up on the intensity of my emotions."
"So you just...mind blasted him?"
"No, actually, I kicked him in the ribs. You would have been proud."
"I meant Jonas, Book Boy."
"Oh, him. Yeah, pretty much. I just dredged up the most emotional stuff I could think of and threw it at him all at once. It acted like an overload, sort of, and then Teal'c did the rest."
"Yeah, remind me never to piss him off."
"No kidding. Yikes."
"And you still have no idea what made the Goa'uld attack Colona?"
"No clue. I guess their negotiations fell through. Wouldn't be the first time we've seen something like that happen, anyway."
"Why were the Colonans trying to make a deal with the Goa'uld in the first place?"
Daniel grimaced. "Well, this is all conjecture, mind you, but Jonas did tell us - or, at least, I think he did - that Colona was at war with the two other nations on the planet. I guess they were just looking for a little outside help with that."
For a moment, Daniel thought Jack was going to call his bluff, and then Jack shrugged, drained his cup, and sighed blissfully.
"God, I missed your coffee."
"Nice to know I'm loved," Daniel said dryly, getting up for a refill.
He was glad Jack hadn't picked up on his little white lie. That last night in the garden, it had occurred to Daniel that the best way he could fight back would be with information...or, in this case, disinformation. Since he'd been spilling his guts so merrily for so long, there was no reason Not-Oma would suspect he was lying. So, as they had strolled aimlessly through the garden, he'd told the biggest whopper of his life. Even worse than telling General West he could get the team back from Abydos, uh-huh, no problem, absolutely sure, sir.
"You know, Oma, I kind of wish I'd known then what I know now. Half of the messes we've gotten into would have been avoided if we'd just had a little more foresight."
"What do you mean, Daniel?"
"Well, when we first set out through the Gate, we had no idea what the rest of the universe held. And the first people we met, practically, we blew up."
"You mean the Goa'uld Ra."
"Yes. If we'd understood then how things were, I don't think we would have done that. It would have been a lot smarter to just ask for an alliance."
"Really? I'm surprised to hear you say that. Haven't you spent the past several years trying to defeat the Goa'uld?"
"Yes, but that was mostly because they tried to attack us first. As soon as we killed Ra we set into motion a whole chain of events that brought us to war with the Goa'uld. If we had gotten their protection in the first place, we could have lived in relative peace. I mean, the Goa'uld are the only ones who have tried to attack us. If we hadn't antagonized them from the start, we would have been fine."
"I see. How would you have gone about getting their allegiance, Daniel?"
"Well, knowing what I know now, I think we should have entered into negotiations, promised them something - maybe a few hosts, people who were dying, like General Carter, and wanted so badly to live - and then, if we decided we needed more than they were offering, threatened them with a different alliance, with someone like the Asgard maybe. I think they would have responded well to that. They're very arrogant, and they respect that when they come across it in other people. I guess I just would have told them to take a hike if they weren't ready to deal on my terms."
"Interesting, Daniel. That is not what I would have expected you to say."
"Daniel?"
"Huh?" Daniel blinked, rousing himself from his reverie. "Did you say something, Jack?"
Jack was giving him a concerned look. "You kind of spaced out on me there, buddy."
Daniel grimaced apologetically. "Just thinking. There are a lot of loose ends still, you know?" No, Jack didn't need to be told why the Goa'uld attacked. Daniel was still trying to come to terms with it himself; he didn't need Jack worrying about it as well. Didn't need Jack to know what he'd inadvertently taught Daniel over the years about priorities and achieving ends by whatever means necessary.
That stuff I was talking about at my house...the place was bugged...obviously, the whole friendship thing, the foundation, it's all solid...
Jack would not be proud.
Jack made a face. "Yeah, I know. You never figured out which Goa'uld it was?"
Daniel shook his head and settled back into his chair. "No. None of the stuff I found mentioned him by name, and of course no one told me."
"Yeah. Oh, I have some interesting news, by the way."
Daniel tensed. This, he could feel, was what Jack had come to his office for; not a conversation about lava lamps, not a reiteration of the briefing he'd already sat through, and not even because Daniel did have the best coffee on base. "Oh?"
"Yeah...so, Frasier checked her records. To see if, you know, we could pin down when exactly you were...taken."
Daniel winced.
"Hey!" Jack said sharply. "Don't go beating yourself up about that, okay? We were all taken in. We trusted Jonas from the start, and I doubt we would have figured anything out anywhere near fast enough if you hadn't started kicking up a fuss with Miss Glowworm there."
Daniel gave Jack a wan smile. "Thanks." It was nice of Jack to say that. It might even be true. Didn't change the way he was feeling, though. "So, Janet's records?"
Jack fixed him with a hard look, as if to tell him he wasn't fooling anyone, least of all Colonel Jack O'Neill, USAF, then resumed his narrative. "Yeah, so she checked her records. They're gone."
"So...I never came back to the SGC at all? I never even left Colona?"
"Maybe. I mean, they were gone, Daniel. All of them. Your whole file. Could have been to throw us off, could have been because you actually did do the whole 'Glow me' thing. Can't say, for sure."
Daniel shrugged. He was much more interested in the Goa'uld and the fate of the Colonans anyway.
"Oh, and another thing. Hammond had Siler check all the security tapes? They're all gone too. Everything from when we gated to Colona to when Jonas left. All gone. Only thing they did manage to keep were your mental pyrotechnics in the Gateroom."
Daniel drained his coffee cup. "It's too bad. I wish we knew exactly what it was we'd stumbled into."
"Yeah, I know. Me too. I guess it's just something we'll never know."
"C'est la vie."
"What?"
"That's life."
"Oh. I knew that."
"I could tell. Did the General try to send a bomb through to Colona?"
Jack gave him a sharp look, probably more for the tonelessness of his voice than for the question itself, and scowled. "He tried. Would have made everybody a lot happier, knowing they were definitely taken care of, but we couldn't dial it up. Either their Gate was buried in the attack or they did it themselves. Either way, we're not going to get anything through any time soon."
"Yeah," Daniel said, staring down into his empty cup.
"You did what you had to, Danny," Jack said softly. "No one faults you for that. Frankly, I'm glad you did what you did. If you hadn't figured it out, we'd all be in one helluva mess right now."
Daniel smiled. It was a real smile, with only a slight undertone of sadness and a little tinge of bitterness. "Yeah, I know. Live and learn, huh?"
Jack smiled back, letting him off the hook. "No shit. Hey, you free tonight? There's a game on. I was going to make it a team thing, but Teal'c's doing some sort of Jaffa voodoo death-of-a-thousand-paper-cuts thing on Jonas' memory and Carter's reading Cosmo again, so it looks like you're it."
Daniel blinked in surprise. "Sam doesn't read Cosmo."
Jack rolled his eyes. "That's what you think. You coming, or what?"
"I'm right behind you."
FINIS
AUTHOR'S NOTE UPON REPOSTING: This was written right after Meridian aired, when the Mighty Internet hadn't settled on the spelling of 'Kelowna' yet and as I didn't know much about the place in British Columbia of the same name at the time, I went with a phonetic spelling.
AUTHOR'S NOTE THE SECOND: 'Meridian', among other things, is an astronomical term referring to an imaginary equator that runs perpendicular to the horizon. Given the episode's content, I took it to mean something like one's journey to the apex of existence (abstract, okay, but bear with me). With that in mind, I chose 'Nadir' as my title, as it refers (again, somewhat abstractly) to the point directly below a given surface - basically, if you stood outside and pointed straight up, you'd be pointing at the highest point on the meridian, and if you then pointed between your feet, you'd be pointing at the nadir. To put it even more simply: 'nadir' is the opposite of 'meridian' in much the same way as I took the principles of Meridian the episode and made them opposite in my story, and I think too much about my titles. ;-)
